I'm back home after two wonderful weeks in Chicago and New York. I have 900 photos to go through, two overflowing suitcases to unpack and plenty of laundry to do. But I don't want to. As always when I come home from a trip, I get really depressed and wonder what I am doing in Sweden. After my semester in Chicago in 2008 it took me a year and a visit back to snap out of it. My post-backpacking-in-South-East-Asia-depression lasted for 6 months and only ended because I moved to Chicago. I still think my Japan trip was this past December, not 16 months ago. Right now I am looking down at my feet, which bear tanlines from my sandals, and wonder how it could be summer in New York when Malmö still has winter. And how could I could cross both the Manhattan bridge and the Øresund bridge between two sleeps? My apartment feels quiet and lonely and even all the things I bought on my trip (some pictured above, plus about a million shirts both vintage and new) can't make me happy right now. Sigh.
Jag är tillbaka efter två fantastiska veckor i Chicago och New York. Jag har 900 bilder att gå igenom, två överfulla väskor att packa upp och en enorm hög kläder att tvätta. Men jag vill inte. Som alltid när jag kommer hem efter en resa blir jag så himla deppig och undrar vad jag egentligen gör här. Efter min termin i Chicago 2008 tog det mig ett år och ett återbesök att komma ur det. Mitt post-backpackande-i-Sydostasien-depp varade i sex månader och slutade bara för att jag flyttade till Chicago. Jag tror fortfarande att min Japanresa var nyss i december, inte för 16 månader sedan. Just nu sitter jag och tittar ner på mina fötter, som är solbrända med två vita linjer efter mina sandaler, och undrar hur det kan vara sommar i New York när Malmö fortfarande har vinter. Och hur kan man korsa både Manhattan bridge och Øresundsbron på samma dag? Min lägenhet känns tyst och tom och inte ens alla saker jag köpte på resan (några är på bilden ovan, plus ungefär en miljon skjortor och blusar, både secondhand och nya) kan göra mig glad just nu. Suck.
Hi Hilda,
ReplyDeleteI just read your post and felt compelled to leave a message to say.... that someone here on the other side of the globe (Sydney to be exact) is thinking of you. Sorry I can't do anything to make it better but sending you a cyber hug. Post holiday blues can be such an incredible downer.
(And I know this doesn't make any difference, but I'm a big fan of your blog and love every single photo that you post.)
Ronnie xo
AH no poor you, it is funny where ever you live often somewhere else seems more appealing, there was me thinking Sweden must be fantastic.Even going there on holiday in the summer!
ReplyDeleteBad bad weather in London too. So much rain and storms and grey grey skies!
Love your blog by the way and all your inspirations.
Great finds look forward to seeing some more and good luck with feeling happier again..... x
try to enjoy the beautiful things that Winter brings you and that you know you will miss in the Summer.
ReplyDeleteand if that doesn't work start daydreaming about your next trip.
by the way, what is your instagram username? i would love to add you.
oh, forget about my question, i just read the "bye" post.
ReplyDeletecheer up!
Oh I know this feeling. It's not not nice. But it's quite funny that I have this feeling when I come back from Sweden because everything is so amazing there in my opinion. But I hope you can travel again soon. It's a shame I don't live in New York, because then we could've swapped places for a while.
ReplyDeleteYour new little treasures look wonderful by the way :)
You're depressed and wondering what you're doing in Sweden?! I find this completely insane because it's been several months since I've returned to the US from Sweden for the second time and I'm still terribly depressed and wondering the same thing about why I'm here. So perhaps it will make you feel a tiny bit better to know someone out there knows precisely how you feel and is in fact dying to trade places with you :]
ReplyDelete<333 that sucks so much! i know exactly what you mean, though...it's always hard coming back to a vastly different environment after time away somewhere you love. i'm sure you could make a career in the states, though - you're a pretty amazing artist, and once school's done, nothing's holding you back, right? :) ok, end of pep talk! now what's this i hear about you having NINE HUNDRED PHOTOS!?
ReplyDeleteHilda,
ReplyDeleteThanks for your honest, open post. Like some of the other commenters, I've also traveled to Sweden and would love to return... but it seems you know what you're going through isn't really about Sweden/Chicago/Japan. As a Michigander living in Minnesota who would like to travel more and use my camera more (perhaps even have a better one!), I'm finding the best approach can be to appreciate just where we are, whether it's on the road or at home. I've been reading a book by Jon Kabat-Zinn called Where You Go There You Are that you might find helpful in moments of introspection/depression/etc.
Best to you from Minneapolis.
Gosh, do I know the feeling! I hope you'll feel better soon.
ReplyDeleteDear Hilda, I can relate to your feeling/situation so much. I recently returned from Toulouse and I feel terrible. Before Toulouse I stayed five months in Northern Ireland. Since I returned to Berlin I feel really lost. Maybe we should swap places. You come to Berlin, I go to Sweden, haha. I wish you all the best.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could go to Sweden~! It seems so sad you have to be back now!!
ReplyDeletehttp://exquisitusfashion.blogspot.com/
wanna really know what depression is and everyday wonder where the f.ck do you live?
ReplyDeletetry some poland :>
I feel your pain! I'm from England and lived in London for the past 18 years. I'm now living in Oslo,Norway and the transition has been so,so hard! When I travel home to England (which I do maybe 6x per year) I feel so depressed when I return to Norway and I'm filled with rage about the cost of everything, the lack of choice in the shops and the non-existant manners! But slowly and surely I get used to this funny country again (just in time for my next visit back home!)
ReplyDeleteIs that all the mini Reese's cups you have left? I still have a little bit of candy from your mom left (incredible I know).
ReplyDeleteWhen I got back from living in Jönköping I really wanted to move to Sweden. I looked up Au Pair agencies and everything. The only think that snapped me out of it was meeting Max!
At least you will be coming back to the States in June! It's not nearly as exciting as anywhere else, but I am excited to show you around Presque Isle.
Ohhh I feel your pain and regularly suffer from post-travel depression! I wrote a little article about how to deal with it- http://loveswah.com/2011/07/beating-the-post-holiday-blues/
ReplyDeleteHope it helps a bit!
x
Like the other commenters, I understand your feelings! Ironically I live in the NYC area (which is fantastic) and last night was looking up the price of tickets to Sweden! Thank goodness for fantastic blogs like yours that allow us to live vicariously through others' travels!
ReplyDeleteAh, I totally know the feeling as well. Glad you had a great trip though! All your photos on Instagram made me pretty jealous/homesick for old American architecture and diner food. Sigh. Hope the summer weather makes you feel a bit better. You should come over to Copenhagen again soon for a mini-trip, ha. I've been meaning to tell you too that I thought the Kinfolk picnic photos turned out amazing! You seriously can make anything look fantastic. Xo
ReplyDeleteI too get post-travel depression. That said, coming home always involves perks like neatly organizing one's souvenirs and finally have the time to look through hundreds and hundreds of photographs. I hope a warm spring comes to Sweden soon!
ReplyDeleteOh! You poor thing! You need a hug, girly! Or you can just pop over to Copenhagen and I will cook you a good 'ol American meal and you can tell me about your trip! :-) When we visited our family in the States recently I was oddly homesick for Denmark, but when I am here I am homesick for the States... or Morocco or Spain...So I suppose our hearts are never truly content when there are so many amazing places to explore in this world! Hugs and please let me know if you ever want to meet up! I am utterly taken with your gorgeous photography!
ReplyDeleteI know this feeling too well. We spend four weeks in Canada & the US back in 2008 and in my mind I kind of never left.
ReplyDeletethank you everyone for your kind and encouraging comments! they mean a lot!
ReplyDeletechristine: don't worry, I still have PLENTY of candy left :)